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General Discussions / Can you hate Allah yet still be a good Muslim?
« on: September 29, 2020, 05:51:02 AM »
This is a serious question. I believe Allah exists and I believe there is nothing more perfect or worthy of worship besides Allah.
But I don’t love Allah. I’ve never loved anyone whatsoever.
But it’s worse. I try to love Allah, but internally, if I were to be honest, I hate him. I’ve been struggling with this for a while—I can pretend I love Allah, but it’s not genuine.
I never asked to exist. All the benefits of life are worthless because death is better and it would’ve been nice not to have those benefits and not exist in the first place. Honestly, if I could choose between heaven/paradise and permanent death, I’d choose death. I want nothing to do with Allah and I don’t want to go to heaven (I certainly don’t want to go to hell either—but death is better than heaven for me). You can offer me mountains of gold and all the pleasures of life and I still don’t want any of it.
I don’t want any of the rewards Allah offers, I just don’t want the punishment.
Internally, I hate Allah and I don’t want anything at all to do with him. I don’t want to meet him or speak to him—I don’t want his presence. I want nothing to do with him or anything else for that matter.
But I continue to do what is right, believe in Allah, do everything I’m supposed to.
Is it a commandment for us to love Allah? There’s nothing in the Quran that’s says you’re supposed to love him, right? Because if there is: then there simply is no hope for me. I don’t even love my parents. I’ve never loved anything or anyone.
Please if you are reading this, delay your judgment. I ask that you answer the question whether loving Allah is required to be a Muslim. It’s not like I can flip a switch and magically love Allah.
But I don’t love Allah. I’ve never loved anyone whatsoever.
But it’s worse. I try to love Allah, but internally, if I were to be honest, I hate him. I’ve been struggling with this for a while—I can pretend I love Allah, but it’s not genuine.
I never asked to exist. All the benefits of life are worthless because death is better and it would’ve been nice not to have those benefits and not exist in the first place. Honestly, if I could choose between heaven/paradise and permanent death, I’d choose death. I want nothing to do with Allah and I don’t want to go to heaven (I certainly don’t want to go to hell either—but death is better than heaven for me). You can offer me mountains of gold and all the pleasures of life and I still don’t want any of it.
I don’t want any of the rewards Allah offers, I just don’t want the punishment.
Internally, I hate Allah and I don’t want anything at all to do with him. I don’t want to meet him or speak to him—I don’t want his presence. I want nothing to do with him or anything else for that matter.
But I continue to do what is right, believe in Allah, do everything I’m supposed to.
Is it a commandment for us to love Allah? There’s nothing in the Quran that’s says you’re supposed to love him, right? Because if there is: then there simply is no hope for me. I don’t even love my parents. I’ve never loved anything or anyone.
Please if you are reading this, delay your judgment. I ask that you answer the question whether loving Allah is required to be a Muslim. It’s not like I can flip a switch and magically love Allah.