Salaam mia666,
You've asked some good questions. But, unfortunately, to the best of my limited knowledge and understanding I can only answer one of them.
You asked:
"On the Day of Judgement...do you think there would be a 3rd place for people who never got the message of monotheism?"
I would refer to the scenario you painted as ‘the absence of belief (or disbelief out of ignorance). This scenario is best characterized by one whom the truth (in this case the existence of Allah) has either never reached, or has not been clearly manifested to him/her, or has come to him in such a garbled and corrupt/ed form that it makes it difficult for him to recognize it as the truth. I don’t consider this state ‘disbelieve’ but rather the ‘absence of belief’; because in such state one either never encountered the truth or it has not been clearly manifested to him, hence he/she never had the option to believe or disbelieve.
To illustrate this better consider the following scenario:
Suppose there is a man on an isolated island, and has been on that island since birth. Now suppose that that man has never made contact with anyone or anything outside of that island. As such, said man would have no idea of the existence of a God, as the truth (in this case God’s existence) has never reached him nor been clearly manifested to him (seeing as how he’s on an isolated island); as such, the man would have an ‘absence of belief’ in the existence of a God. Now suppose this man dies on that island, without the truth (in this case the existence of a God) having ever reached him. Now tell me, would it not be unjust for Allah to punish him for supposedly disbelieving? Seeing as how the truth (the existence of Allah) has never reached or been clearly manifested to him; hence never having the chance to believe or disbelieve.
So, to answer you question, I firmly believe that one whom the truth of a certain matter (in this case the existence of Allah) has either never reached him or has never been clearly manifested to him cannot (in my opinion) be considered a ‘disbeliever’ and therefore would be unjust for Allah to condemn them to the hell-fire. Now personally I do not know what will happen to people in the above-mentioned scenario but I would like to think Allah (seeing as how merciful and forgiving He is) would pardon them.
By the ways, brother Joseph Islam wrote of a similar issue in the following article:
http://quransmessage.com/articles/understanding%20kufr%20FM3.htmHope this answers your question.