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Offline ZKAB90

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Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« on: March 12, 2016, 08:39:44 PM »
Salam, Hi,

This is why, whith GREATS REGRETS, I believe that I'm hypocrit (munafiq) AND why follow quranism is bad. These are the reasons:   :'(  :-\

1/ http://www.call-to-monotheism.com/counter_rebuttal_to_a_rebuttal_to__questions_that_the_quranites_have_no_good_logical_responses_to

2/ http://www.call-to-monotheism.com/refuting_the_argument_that_there_are__absurd__hadith

3/ إِنَّ هَـؤُلاء مُتَبَّرٌ مَّا هُمْ فِيهِ وَبَاطِلٌ مَّا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ  As to these folk,- the cult they are in is (but) a fragment of a ruin, and vain is the (worship) which they practice

4/ يُخَادِعُونَ اللّهَ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَمَا يَخْدَعُونَ إِلاَّ أَنفُسَهُم وَمَا يَشْعُرُونَ They would deceive ALLAH and those who believe, but they deceive none but themselves; only they perceive it not

→ I don’t believe in Angels, Jinns and I can’t realize the existence of Hell and Heaven even I suspect that all are true. Allah sealed my heart due to my ex-islamophobic behavior and arrogance. → ومن الناس من يقول امنا بالله وباليوم الاخر وما هم بمؤمنين And of the people are some who say, "We believe in Allah and the Last Day," but they are not believers.

5/ في قلوبهم مرض فزادهم الله مرضا ولهم عذاب اليم بما كانوا يكذبون In their hearts is disease, so Allah has increased their disease; and for them is a painful punishment because they [habitually] used to lie

6/ ان المنافقين يخادعون الله وهو خادعهم واذا قاموا الى الصلاة قاموا كسالى يراءون الناس ولا يذكرون الله الا قليلا Indeed, the hypocrites [think to] deceive Allah , but He is deceiving them. And when they stand for prayer, they stand lazily, showing [themselves to] the people and not remembering Allah except a little → I don’t pray. I don’t fell anything, and for me is boring.

7/ الا انهم في مرية من لقاء ربهم الا انه بكل شيء محيط Unquestionably, they are in doubt about the meeting with their Lord. Unquestionably He is, of all things, encompassing.

8/ واذا ذكر الله وحده اشمازت قلوب الذين لا يؤمنون بالاخرة واذا ذكر الذين من دونه اذا هم يستبشرون And when Allah is mentioned alone, the hearts of those who do not believe in the Hereafter shrink with aversion, but when those [worshipped] other than Him are mentioned, immediately they rejoice.

9/ واذا تتلى عليهم اياتنا بينات تعرف في وجوه الذين كفروا المنكر يكادون يسطون بالذين يتلون عليهم اياتنا قل افانبئكم بشر من ذلكم النار وعدها الله الذين كفروا وبئس المصير And when Our verses are recited to them as clear evidences, you recognize in the faces of those who disbelieve disapproval. They are almost on the verge of assaulting those who recite to them Our verses. Say, "Then shall I inform you of [what is] worse than that? [It is] the Fire which Allah has promised those who disbelieve, and wretched is the destination."

And finally, the greatest lie: http://www.free-minds.org/mumins

قالت الاعراب امنا قل لم تؤمنوا ولكن قولوا اسلمنا ولما يدخل الايمان في قلوبكم وان تطيعوا الله ورسوله لا يلتكم من اعمالكم شيئا ان الله غفور رحيم The bedouins say, "We have believed." Say, "You have not [yet] believed; but say [instead], 'We have submitted,' for faith has not yet entered your hearts. And if you obey Allah and His Messenger, He will not deprive you from your deeds of anything. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."

Surely, BUT in THIS LIFE, not in the Hereafter, if it exists.

Because:

ليس البر ان تولوا وجوهكم قبل المشرق والمغرب ولكن البر من امن بالله واليوم الاخر والملائكة والكتاب والنبيين واتى المال على حبه ذوي القربى واليتامى والمساكين وابن السبيل والسائلين وفي الرقاب واقام الصلاة واتى الزكاة والموفون بعهدهم اذا عاهدوا والصابرين في الباساء والضراء وحين الباس اولئك الذين صدقوا واولئك هم المتقون Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but [true] righteousness is [in] one who believes in Allah , the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets and gives wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask [for help], and for freeing slaves; [and who] establishes prayer and gives zakah; [those who] fulfill their promise when they promise; and [those who] are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous.

 :'( :'( :'(

Offline Star

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2016, 02:32:40 AM »
OH MY GOD.

This is making me very sad. Dear ZKAB90, I think you're just very confused. We can fix this. I reviewed the links you sent and although I don't have the time to refute every single thing in them, I think I can refute the most common arguments.

First of all: Why do you think you're a hypocrite? Hypocrites are those who lie against God, or say one thing and act on another. I don't see how you fit this definition. Secondly, even if you ARE a hypocrite, the fact that you want to stop being one shows that you have hope. You are greatly exaggerating your own evilness.

This post is going to be ridiculously long, but if you can be patient we can remedy your highly baffling situation. I will begin by citing some arguments in the links you sent and refuting them. Then I will explain how it is possible to follow the Quran without hadiths.


1) Let's figure out what Joseph and most other people on this forum believe in. We're not Quranists. "Quranist" denotes people who believe the Quran is absolutely the ONLY thing one can derive guidance from. However, we are Quran-centric, which means that we also follow our common sense (and look in classical dictionaries) to find the best meaning of Quranic verses.

2) Zawadi (the author of the links you posted) has been attempting to refute Quran-centrism and Quranism for ages. He hasn't done so well. Let's look at some of his arguments. This is what he says--

"Why don't we have any record of early Muslims completely rejecting hadith?"

Who says that we NEED to have a record of early Muslims rejecting hadiths? Records of early Muslims rejecting hadiths would only be found in hadiths. And we don't believe that hadiths hold any religious authority. So this argument is paradoxical in itself.

3) He also says:

"How do you know how to pray using the Quran alone?"

For God's sake, this argument is positively ancient. Here are some of Joseph's articles regarding prayer sans hadiths:

http://quransmessage.com/articles/pray%20as%20we%20have%20taught%20you%20how%20to%20pray%20-%20using%20a%20verse%20to%20support%20a%20fixed%20form%20of%20prayer%20FM3.htm

http://quransmessage.com/articles/the%20five%20prayers%20from%20the%20quran%20FM3.htm

http://quransmessage.com/articles/quran%20salaat%20FM3.htm

4) Monsieur Zawadi isn't giving up yet. He says:

"It says in the Quran to shorten the prayer when you travel. How long do you have to travel in order to be eligible to have this privilege? How short do you cut the prayer?"

Those who are familiar with the Quran know that it instructs us to use our reasoning skills. Thus, the amount that we shorten the prayer must be specific to the type of travel that we are undertaking. If a person is in grave danger, then their prayer should probably be shortened a lot. But if they're not in danger, then their prayer shouldn't be shortened too much. If God assigned a fixed amount of prayer-shortening, then people who are in great danger would be forced to pray a fixed number of rakahs, which would be counter productive. Prayer-shortening is designed for flexibility.

Also see:

http://quransmessage.com/articles/shortening%20of%20prayers%20FM3.htm

5) "The Quran says that men can beat their wives. But we know according to the hadith that this is meant to be a light beating that inflicts a spiritual punishment and not a harmful physical one. What is to stop a man from misinterpreting the Quran and beating his wife severely?"

Quran verse 4:34 has many possible meanings. They include hitting the wife, sending her out of the house, separating from her, indicating her behavior to the authorities, etc. Those who are familiar with the Quran know that it provides its own exegesis. The "correct" meaning of this verse can only be derived by someone who is sincere, well-versed in God's commandments, and just. Only an insincere, hypocritical man would insist that this verse allows him to inflict harm on his wife. (The Quran is specifically designed to expose such hypocritical people, by the way.) A good, sincere person would seek out alternative meanings for the verse and find the right meaning through research and reflection.

We can find the best meaning for verse 4:34 by analyzing other Quranic verses. We don't need hadiths for this.

Please see:

http://www.quran434.com/

http://www.quranverse434.com/

As you can see, most of Zawadi’s arguments against following God’s guidance are quite easily refutable. The Quran instructs mankind to judge by what God has revealed. God told us to obey His messenger, and the only duty of His messenger was to deliver His message. Please see:

http://quransmessage.com/articles/god%20has%20warned%20believers%20to%20only%20follow%20the%20quran%20FM3.htm

http://www.quran-islam.org/articles/a_dozen_reasons_(P1153).html

We are definitely supposed to follow God’s messenger, but God’s messenger only preached the Quran—and he wasn’t allowed to preach anything else. If he had, God would have punished him severely:

69:43
(The Quran is) a revelation from the Lord of the worlds.
69:44
And had he (Muhammad) attributed anything falsely to Us,
69:45
We would have seized him by the right.
69:46
Then, We would have severed his life-line.
69:47
None of you would be able to prevent it.
69:48
And this is a reminder for the righteous.


So, how do we find the “best meaning” of Quranic verses by using the Quran’s own exegesis and our own common sense?

Quran 3:7 tells us how to do this—

“It is He who has sent down to you, [O Muhammad], the Book; in it are verses [that are] precise - they are the foundation of the Book - and others ambiguous. As for those in whose hearts is deviation [from truth], they will follow that of it which is ambiguous, seeking discord and seeking an interpretation [suitable to them]. And no one knows its [true] interpretation except Allah. But those firm in knowledge say, "We believe in it. All [of it] is from our Lord." And no one will be reminded except those of understanding.”

As you can see, this verse basically instructs “those with knowledge” to follow the Quran, the whole Quran. Verses that are ambiguous or implicit are explained by other, explicit verses. Take Quran 4:34, for example. It can be interpreted in many ways, but only one or two ways are acceptable when verse 4:19 is taken into account. 4:19 teaches believers to treat women with respect. This negates the idea that verse 4:34 instructs believers to use physical violence on women. Thus, another interpretation must be sought.

Hadiths complicate things. Some people *cough* Zawadi *cough* seem to believe that hadiths can abrogate the Quran. For example, the Quran clearly lays out the punishment for adultery: 100 lashes, publicly given. However, hadiths say that the punishment for adultery is stoning to death! This has led to some serious insanity in countries such as Iran (and, yes, this barbaric “punishment” has really been carried out there).

Do you get what I’m saying now?

The degree of corruption that has gripped the so-called Islamic world is genuinely alarming. The fact that so many people hold hadiths as religious authority is definitely part of the reason for this. “Honor killings” and extremism can all be traced to hadiths that portray Muhammad doing horrific things. How can such evil acts be attributed to a prophet? Clearly, something is wrong.

Please think about this and God bless.



Offline zara

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2016, 02:56:20 AM »
Salam ZKAB90,

I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one who feels like a hypocrite.Most times,I am convinced that my heart has been sealed.When I read answers to questions on this forum,it worries me that when I read the Quran,I don't understand it the way everyone seems to understand it.
When I wake up lazily to pray fajr,I wonder if I truly believe.I ask myself,If I truly believe in this Almighty,Powerful God,why don't I revere him constantly as others do?why doesn't my heart tremble when the Quran is recited?why don't I feel a connection when I pray?I also worry that what I think is right might just seem right to me because I am blind to the truth.

I am sorry that my long post doesn't have any answers for you.I just thought you might appreciate knowing you are not the only one who feels this way.

Offline ilker

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2016, 03:28:31 AM »
Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters,

ZKAB90 and zara, guys don't go too hard on yourselves. Like Mia said, being depressed, feeling guilty about it, actually tells me that deep inside, you are trying to fight these painful thoughts and this means you are not lost ! Shaitan tries to block "the right path" and wants to show us all that it's twisted, crooked. I think you are under a bombardment of ""waswasa", obsessive thoughts. Don't ever give up, Allah knows you better than yourselves. Don't ever give up on praying Allah for help. Believe me we all have times like this, doubting ourselves and shaitan takes advantage of this. He says: "You are hopeless, you are going to hell anyway, you are in doubt, you don't believe enough!, look at that guy over there he/she is a real muslim you are not !" If you are disturbed by these thoughts then it's not late inshaAllah.

Sorry i haven't answered your questions but i want you to know that you are not hopeless. We will get over this together inshaAllah.



 

Offline ZKAB90

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2016, 05:16:28 AM »
Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but [true] righteousness is [in] one who believes in Allah , the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets and gives wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask [for help], and for freeing slaves; [and who] establishes prayer and gives zakah; [those who] fulfill their promise when they promise; and [those who] are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous. (http://quran.com/2/177)

→ I don’t believe in Angels, Jinns and I can’t realize the existence of Hell and Heaven even I suspect that all are true. Allah sealed my heart due to my ex-islamophobic behavior and arrogance.

And of the people are some who say, "We believe in Allah and the Last Day," but they are not believers (http://quran.com/2/8)

→ I can't lie to myself; nor I'm able to deceit myself.

There's no hope I think...  >:( :(  :-\

Offline good logic

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2016, 05:51:30 AM »
Peace All.

Do we think we can just say we believe  without being tested for our conviction?

All of us have to go through the test when we embark on the system of GOD Alone.

Who knows how long we can remain being tested before we attain certainty. Yes ,GOD promised those who pass His test that they will be certain about Him and His message. There will be no doubt whatsoever.

[Qoran 28:56] You cannot guide the ones you love. God is the only One who guides in accordance with His will, and in accordance with His knowledge of those who deserve the guidance.

[Qoran 6:75] We showed Abraham the marvels of the heavens and the earth, and blessed him with certainty:

[Qoran 21:51] Before that, we granted Abraham his guidance and understanding, for we were fully aware of him.

[Qoran 21:79] We granted Solomon the correct understanding, though we endowed both of them (David as well) with wisdom and knowledge. We committed the mountains to serve David in glorifying (God), as well as the birds. This is what we did.


None of us here will help to guide one another, nor shall we even pretend.  We are all serving the same purpose in this life.GOD knows every individual inside out.

Trust in GOD Alone, keep  persevering, stay the journey ,long or short. GOD will not brake His promise. Those who stay loyal to GOD Alone, whatever happens to them during the journey, will attain certainty.

We go through different stages of faith - from belief to "Muslim" to strong belief and certainty. GOD acknowledges our weakness, indecisiveness and doubt, and He promises those who choose Him and stay loyal to Him, to support them and augment their faith:

[Qoran 90:4] We created the human being to work hard (to redeem himself).*

[Qoran 7:174] We thus explain the revelations, to enable the people to redeem themselves

[Qoran 49:15] Mu mineen (believers) are those who believe in God and His messenger, then attain the status of having no doubt whatsoever, and strive with their money and their lives in the cause of God. These are the truthful ones

If we believe Qoran is the word of GOD,then we must ignore  those who "doubt" .Are their words better/ make more sense/... than GOD s?
Why should we doubt GOD?:
[Qoran 30:60] Therefore, you shall steadfastly persevere - for God's promise is the truth - and do not be intimidated by those who have not attained certainty.

GOD bless.
Peace.

Total loyalty to GOD
In GOD i TRUST.
https://total-loyalty-to-god-alone.co.uk/?page_id=197

Offline Hassan A

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2016, 10:06:29 AM »
Salaam all,

not to divert the serious issue at hand here which I greatly look forward to brother Joseph Islam's answer, but I would like to share something with sister MiaStar (and all who may be interested).

MiaStar, you said:

Quote
Zawadi.... says--

Quote
"Why don't we have any record of early Muslims completely rejecting hadith?"

Who says that we NEED to have a record of early Muslims rejecting hadiths? Records of early Muslims rejecting hadiths would only be found in hadiths. And we don't believe that hadiths hold any religious authority. So this argument is paradoxical in itself.

While I agree with your rebuttal to Zawadi question, I would like to share with you some writing which show that there were, indeed, records of early Muslims objecting to the Hadith. Perhaps Zawadi would be interested in them as well?:

THE OPPONENTS OF THE WRITING OF TRADITION IN EARLY ISLAM
http://www.hadith-studies.com/opponents-tradition-cook.pdf

http://meine-islam-reform.de/index.php/component/attachments/download/119.html

http://www18.georgetown.edu/data/people/brownj2/publication-51827.pdf

Offline Seraphina

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2016, 10:32:31 PM »
Assalamu alaikum everyone,
First of all, I'm sorry I haven't been so active lately, I've been going through some hardships lately and it's been impossible.
Second of all, I personally find it a bit difficult to find the proper words to heal a heart that feels like this.
As for start, repeat after me: You are NOT a hypocrite, and your heart has NOT been sealed.
What is going on is that the truth is one, but there are many false versions of it. The islam is one, but many pseudoversions of it roam the world, and in search for the truth we may encounter some of them, which end up confusing us and planting doubts on whether or not we are in the true path. Most of believers have gone through what you are going through, believe me on this one :) having doubts doesn't make you a hypocrite. The munafiqun refered to in the Quran are the ones that pretend to be devouted muslims in front of people, but in their heart is disbelief and hate towards it. You are speaking with an open heart about what condition is your heart in, without pretending you're a devouted muslim. How can you deem yourself a hypocrite?
As to the seal of hearts, only God knows when this state is reached. I quote from brother Joseph: "So therefore, a 'seal' or 'covering' is imposed as a consequence of a transgressor's unwillingness to acknowledge the truth and to remain blind to it because of their own volition. This is in perfect resonance with cause and affect which God has imposed on his creation." Doesn't sound like your case at all (not to me at least).
And finally, I think you should consider something else as well: Our avowed enemy, Satan. A thief targets the rich properties :) Similarily, the closer we are to the truth, the closer we are to our Lord's mercy, the more we are targeted from him. He has sworn to God that he will lead us astray and take us to his side, and he won't rest until he feels he took you on his side.
"He said: "Because you have thrown me out of the way, lo! I will lie in wait for them on thy straight way"(7:16)
"The Evil one threatens you with poverty and bids you to conduct unseemly. God promises you His forgiveness and bounties. And God cares for all and He knows all things"(2:268)
His methods of attack and the areas where he attacks are in all kinds and forms, and what is worse is that he instills us fear and doubts which lead us to sin, and then after we sinned he instills us loss of hope in God's mercy and forgiveness. Don't let this happen to you :)
"No authority has he over those who believe and put their trust in their Lord"(016.099)
"As for My servants, no authority shall you have over them:" Enough is thy Lord for a Disposer of affairs"(017:065)
"Except Thy Servants amongst them, sincere and purified (by Thy Grace)."(038.083)
See? We are not left forsaken in his hands :) and even if we fall in his trap and sin, we still have hope: "Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."(39:53)
   So, read and study the Quran, keep on praying even if you feel like you're not feeling it, and keep on calling on your Lord, for He is closer than you think: "And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way."(2:186). "And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein"(50:16).
God knows what goes on inside you, and if you don't give up on Him, He won't give up on you either :)
Peace be with you :)

Satan's guile:
http://quransmessage.com/articles/satans%20guile%20FM3.htm
Understanding kufr - when is a heart sealed?
http://quransmessage.com/articles/understanding%20kufr%20FM3.htm
"Say:"O my slaves who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Offline Star

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2016, 12:57:36 AM »
Salam ZKAB90, I'm sorry, I didn't entirely read through everything in your initial post. I saw the links and thought they must be confusing you, so I decided to go through them and refute everything. I think there's a bigger issue here and you need to understand that you're certainly not a hypocrite. I don't see how you fit that definition. From what I can tell, you're just not sure why you can't fully believe in anything God-related. This problem does not constitute hypocrisy. You actually seem to be genuinely searching for the truth and this is something to be admired. :) Just keep praying and God will help you. :)

Offline Truth Seeker

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2016, 04:54:30 PM »
Salaam ZKAB90

I think that you have to undo all that you have learnt in the past.
You said:
I don’t believe in Angels, Jinns and I can’t realize the existence of Hell and Heaven even I suspect that all are true. Allah sealed my heart due to my ex-islamophobic behavior and arrogance.


So look at everything fresh in order to relearn and read the Quran cover to cover.
Then and only then should you think about why you don't believe in angels etc

Offline ZKAB90

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2016, 06:11:33 PM »
Salaam ZKAB90

I think that you have to undo all that you have learnt in the past.
You said:
I don’t believe in Angels, Jinns and I can’t realize the existence of Hell and Heaven even I suspect that all are true. Allah sealed my heart due to my ex-islamophobic behavior and arrogance.


So look at everything fresh in order to relearn and read the Quran cover to cover.
Then and only then should you think about why you don't believe in angels etc

WHY ? That's the question....

Offline Truth Seeker

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2016, 09:19:29 PM »
Salaam ZKAB90,

If you believe that the Quran is fully the word of God after reading and pondering it, then you will believe in the existence of angels, jinns, heaven and hell. These are fundamentals of faith.

An entirely different matter is that even committed Muslims err in their actions or failure to follow God's commands, which means that they have wronged themselves. But the most important aspect is that they acknowledge it, and attempt to rectify the matter going forward.

Offline ZKAB90

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2016, 01:30:14 AM »
Salaam ZKAB90,

If you believe that the Quran is fully the word of God after reading and pondering it, then you will believe in the existence of angels, jinns, heaven and hell. These are fundamentals of faith.

 

I think my brain or will is under satanic control; we have everyone a jinn in us and an human soul, isn't?

So, in this moment is my jinn who rules.

Although I'm a very pride person and raised in strong atheism... Maybe my brain isn't able yet to have access to the hidden human capacities...

In past I was very arrogant against Al-lah and Muhammad, I remember insulting both and mock them...


Offline ZKAB90

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2016, 01:37:19 AM »
And to Allah belong the best names, so invoke Him by them. And leave [the company of] those who practice deviation concerning His names. They will be recompensed for what they have been doing

http://quran.com/7/180

So, maybe my weakness is a punishment?

Offline Star

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Re: Im hypocrite destined to the Hell :/
« Reply #14 on: March 15, 2016, 08:29:09 AM »
Salam ZKAB90,

The information you stated about jinn in people's souls is from a hadith. It's probably not true, so no need to worry :)

Just because you insulted Allah once, that doesn't mean you're beyond hope. You're obviously feeling sorry for what you did, so just make sincere repentance. Verse 7:180 is only talking about those who mock God and don't repent. As Seraphina stated earlier, God forgives all sins.

"Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."(39:53)

If you're having trouble believing in angels and such things, keep in mind that God created the universe. The universe itself is quite fascinating and unbelievable. But God, clearly, managed to create it--and He can create whatever He wants to. If He wants to create angels and jinn, then He can make them.

You said you were raised an atheist. That's probably part of the issue. I'm just wondering, how did you find out about the Quran and all this?

I hope you figure this out soon :)