Permissibility of choosing not to live with one's parents after being an adult

[Nura]

Salam all

In Quran, we are asked to be respectful and kind to our parents. So, I will describe some hypothetical  scenarios, can you guys tell me the best Quran-centric approaches to take so as to not anger Allah.

1) Is it ok to move out of your parents' house? Is it sinful to do this , if u still call them frequently, help them out financially, and in anyway whenever u can?

2) What should you do if your husband/wife does not want to live with your parents but has no objection to being nice to them and caring for your parents, but simply does not want to live with them in the same house? Are we to live with our parents throughout our lives? And if we choose not to do so for whatever reason are we being unkind to them just by moving out of their houses? Will this fall under hurting them and abandoning them or simply not caring for them, even when u choose to behave kindly after moving out?

3) Can we move away from our parents for work or education? Will it be unquranic to do so?

[wanderer]

Absolutely. There comes a time when one must mature, get a job, start a family of your own. Still, we should always visit our parents, be kind to them, support them financially, etc. I don't know where you got this idea about living with your parents forever though.
Regards
wanderer

[Nura]

The country where I was born has this culture. No girl moves out of their parents' house. Girls move out when they get married. But, then we moved to a western country, and people here move out when they become adults. Both Male and female children  move out.  I want evidence from the Quran that I am not going to sin if I choose to move out and not return to my parents house after I get a job after my graduation. People say all kinds of stuff to girls to make them return to their parents but not to sons. They say that is what Allah wants. They say otherwise, I will be unkind and will be abandoning my parents.I want Quranic evidence.

I want Quranic evidence to defend myself if I choose to move out without marrying and also to soothe myself and convince myself that I am not sinning by doing so.
 

[Amira]

I understand what you mean, so you might want to make sure your parents approve it if you move out. It might be better to stay with them for a while until they allow you to leave. Leaving without their approval could be a sin, although I can't imagine why anyone would want to keep their children even after college.

[Amira]

I'm not sure if this is related, but there are verses stating "give the orphans their property when they come of age." (4:6) This insinuates that when children are of legal age, they should have the right to own their own property and, by extension, live independently.

[Nura]

Salam Amira and Wanderer

Does that mean I have to live with my parents if I do not get married and my parents do not approve?What if I choose to never get married? Does that mean I have to live with my parents forever? Also technically, why does getting married only give me the licence to move out? Does the  Quran say that women have to stay with their parents even if they can afford to move out and it is safe to do so? Where I live now, that is the norm, but I do not want to sin. But I can't find a single verse in Quran where Allah asks us to stay with our parents when we are single or married. People are telling me that not living with parents is equal to me abandoning them and I am being unkind if I do this. But magically, if I do this after getting married, it is not abandoning my parents! Extended family blackmail me with the abandonment issue always, I do not have a brother, so I ask if I get married and my sister also does, and we move out , why is that not considered abandoning as well? These people then cannot give me a single convincing, logical answer. It is very frustrating, when they quote Quran and say I am being unkind. But why is moving out before marriage, for whatever reasons I choose, is being equated with unkindness or abandonment I do not understand honestly. It is not like I want to move out so that I can sin to my hearts content! I just want to live alone or with my friends and I am being denied this.

[Nura]

Salam Amira

I find it interesting what you said about the orphans, but maybe help me out with other Quranic verses or maybe absence of them? I am not an orphan, so they are going to throw this fact at my face sadly.

[wanderer]

You said it yourself: No matter what anyone says to you, there is not one verse in the Quran saying you have to do this. This is purely a personal issue between you and them. Ask them what they want you to do, and try to choose the best possible option to please them.
Regards
wanderer

[Amira]

I'm sorry, I don't know of any other verses pertaining to this. It doesn't matter what your other relatives say since you have no obligation toward them, just try to get your parents' approval. I don't know of anything else you could do.

[Nura]

Salam Wanderer and Amira

Thank you for your inputs . My intention behind posting these questions was to find out whether I am wrong or maybe I am overlooking or misunderstanding the parent related verses of the Quran and whether if I choose to move out I will be transgressing my boundaries or not. But, from your inputs, apparently I did not misunderstand the verses. Thank u once again.