Author [EN] [PL] [ES] [PT] [IT] [DE] [FR] [NL] [TR] [SR] [AR] [RU] Topic: marriage

Offline Iman

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 14
    • View Profile
marriage
« on: August 04, 2018, 03:56:02 AM »
my son wants to marry a girl. she is decent and from a good family  but she believes  in god as a super power  but not in any religion,actually religion  takes up no part in her life  i dont feel  comfortable with the idea and i even feel it will not be a halal marriage. am i correct? i hope someone can discuss the situation with me. thank you

Offline Wakas

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 556
    • View Profile
    • What does The Quran really say?
Re: marriage
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2018, 06:33:24 AM »
peace,

You might find this helpful: source

What does The Quran say about marriage?

Determining mutual attraction/compatibility [2:221, 2:235, 30:21, 33:52]
Ascertaining whether the potential partner is of similar beliefs/faith [2:221, 60:10]
Discussion of and agreeing to the level of dower and other terms (if any) [4:4, 4:24]
Understanding and mutual acceptance of marriage as a solemn/strong oath/contract [4:21, 2:232, 2:237, 24:33]
If male, capable of providing for the family/household [2:228, 2:233, 4:34, 65:6]
To have physically matured / post-puberty [4:6, 24:31, 24:58-59]
To have the marriage contract/oaths witnessed [2:235, 2:237, 2:282, 65:2]

If the marriage is unsuccessful, one should also be capable of undertaking divorce proceedings, e.g. separation period, arbitration, discussion of settlement etc [2:226-232, 2:241, 4:35, 4:128-130, 33:49, 65:1-6].

Offline Duster

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 427
    • View Profile
Re: marriage
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2018, 06:54:32 PM »
my son wants to marry a girl. she is decent and from a good family  but she believes  in god as a super power  but not in any religion,actually religion  takes up no part in her life  i dont feel  comfortable with the idea and i even feel it will not be a halal marriage. am i correct? i hope someone can discuss the situation with me. thank you

Shalom / peace ....Correct religion is an important part of marriage.  Allah says even a believing slave is better for marriage than someone who doesn't have correct religion.  2:221. Basically, she is a 'Deist' of some kind. To be a believer - she also needs to accept verse 2:285. There are exceptions for marriage - people of the book.  But they also have to have correct beliefs.

Offline Iman

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 14
    • View Profile
Re: marriage
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2018, 07:16:39 PM »
 Dear Wakas....i read  and know these verses ..but i am mixed up between the definitions of who is an idolator, who is considered kafer.

what if someone believes only  in a supreme power.does that make him muemin?  this exact point  is my main concern.



Dear Duster..thank you for your reply.. commenting on your last sentence...it is rare that u find  "people of the book "  (Christians in my country's case because we have no Jewish population) that  believe Christ is *not* god...so in actual real life they are excluded from marriage.

I dont want to go off topic and I am  not saying this  to point fingers at others..I am just showing u how mixed up I am about the definition of who is considered a believer whom we could marry.  what belief makes a person eligible for marrying a Muslim (by this i mean our traditional definition of Muslim ie one  says la ilah ela Allah Mohammad rasul Allah.)

Offline ahmad

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 211
    • View Profile
Re: marriage
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2018, 10:09:34 PM »
Dear sister Iman,

As I am sure you already know, believing in the existence of God is not synonymous with being a Muslim.

Most People of the book believed in God but were deemed disbeliever for disbelieving in the Quran.

[3:70]
O People of the Scripture, why do you disbelieve in the verses of Allah while you witness [to their truth]?
[3:71]
O People of the Scripture, why do you confuse the truth with falsehood and conceal the truth while you know [it]?


The Mushrkeen used to believe in God but had taken up idols as intercessors.

10:18
“They serve, besides God, things that hurt them not nor profit them, and they say: "These are our intercessors with God." Say: "Do ye indeed inform God of something He knows not, in the heavens or on earth? Glory to Him! and far is He above the partners they ascribe (to Him)!"”


Even the descendants of prophets were critisized and threatened for following their desires and abandoning prayer

[19:59]
But there came after them successors who neglected prayer and pursued desires; so they are going to meet evil -


Not judging by what God has revealed can amount to disbelieve. The addressees of this verse are those who have received scripture. Hence believe in God.

[5:44]
Indeed, We sent down the Torah, in which was guidance and light. The prophets who submitted [to Allah] judged by it for the Jews, as did the rabbis and scholars by that with which they were entrusted of the Scripture of Allah, and they were witnesses thereto. So do not fear the people but fear Me, and do not exchange My verses for a small price. And whoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed - then it is those who are the disbelievers.



Believing in parts of the book and disbelieving in parts can lead to the most extreme of punishments. If so then what is the state of an individual who has rejected all the book. Or has taken religion in a selective manner.

[2:85]
Then, you are those [same ones who are] killing one another and evicting a party of your people from their homes, cooperating against them in sin and aggression. And if they come to you as captives, you ransom them, although their eviction was forbidden to you. So do you believe in part of the Scripture and disbelieve in part? Then what is the recompense for those who do that among you except disgrace in worldly life; and on the Day of Resurrection they will be sent back to the severest of punishment. And Allah is not unaware of what you do.



Therefore, in my humble opinion being decent and of a good family is one thing. But believing and accepting islam is quite another. If she accepts the whole "islamic package" willingly not out any external pressure then I believe then, it would be acceptable.

And let us remember the verse Brother Duster shared:

[2:221]
And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.


So yes I share your concern and I believe it is a valid one indeed.

Hope this helps in a small way
Regards,
Ahmad.


References:

[1] Idolatry according to the Quran
http://quransmessage.com/articles/idolatry%20according%20to%20the%20quran%20FM3.htm

Offline Iman

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 14
    • View Profile
Re: marriage
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2018, 05:50:13 AM »
Dear Ahmed..thank you so much for your help. I will continue to express my disapproval of this marriage.

Offline Wakas

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 556
    • View Profile
    • What does The Quran really say?
Re: marriage
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2018, 03:02:40 AM »
peace,

A few points:

The Traditional definition of a "Muslim" is not found in Quran.

Ironically, by following something that goes against Quran it might make one a non-believer / mushrik / idolater. It's not so easy to be of the guided ones.

The person whom you are referring to (the potential woman) may not be familiar with Quran centric islam thus who can blame her if she is not for Traditional Islam thus not religious.

Quran differentiates the terms islam/iman muslim/mumin, i.e. they are not the same, e.g. 49:14. A mumin is something more than muslim. Also there are greater/lesser degrees of iman, e.g. 8:2, 74:31.

 

Offline Iman

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 14
    • View Profile
Re: marriage
« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2018, 07:22:36 PM »
Dear Wakas..oh no I dont blame her at all. I leave Allah to judge people..I am in no position to judge anyone...all I was asking was if it is halal  for my son to marry her.


Offline Mohammed

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 149
    • View Profile
Re: marriage
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2018, 12:52:30 AM »
Salaam,

I think this verse says what makes one a believer(M/F)

[Al Qur’an 2: 285]
The messenger believed with what was descended to him from his Lord and the believers, all/each believed with God and His angels, and His Books, and His messengers, we do not separate distinguish/differentiate between any one from His messengers, and they said ...

And if one believes in the Qur’an, then he/she should accept that the Qur’an is the complete guidance for life. (Since the Qur’an says it’s the guidance for mankind and it’s complete).
And according to the verses [2:221, 60:10] a believing man will marry a believing woman.
-my current understanding. Verify for yourself -17:36.
O you who believe! Enter perfectly in islam/ Surrender yourselves wholly unto God [2:208], [3:19-20,85 2:132]

Offline Iman

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 14
    • View Profile
Re: marriage
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2018, 06:23:47 AM »
 There are exceptions for marriage - people of the book.  But they also have to have correct beliefs.

if they had the 'correct beliefs" then they would be muslims in the general sense..so since Allah separates them in the aya  then it is them with their "wrong" beliefs  He is referring to.