islamic funeral

[chadiga]

Salamu aleikum
because my father in law has just died recently, I was faced with quite a few customs and rituals that have nothing to with the Quran in my view,. For example:
-3 Days mourning, common 'sit' of relatives, neighbors and friends in the house of the deceased,
- Engage a Sheikh to recites Quran for the deceased ('sit' in a specially rented tent, visitors also there)
-The Prohibition, for three days to turn on the TV, except the Koran
(Some say 40 days, according to other Ahadith)
-the Wash of the deceased and the white cloth
-Burying in  the direction of Mecca
-Acquaintance in the streets, so that as much as possible come to pray for the dead , so the 40 people reached (after hadith: a  person is awarded if 40 people accompanied the funeral procession)
-Women are not allowed at the funeral and makruh in the mosque
-Prayer for the Dead

All these things are not in the Koran but only removed from the secondary sources. Really is almost nothing about the death, or what is done afterwards.  is now someone who follows these traditions, guilty of  Shirk ?
the three-day-sit is about no  expression of real grief, it's just social norm / almost hypocrisy of some.

certain issues I care most:

1. is it allowed according to Islam, to cremate a person? or is the verse where Allah says, "Bani Adam comes from the earth and you go to her back" an order to  buried the body  in the earth? If you ask a Sunni it is clear that he will say, the body should be in the grave, as the two angels comes and ask you  the famous questions ..
2.is it permissible to pray for not believers (if you are not sure whether they believed or not) for forgiveness? I mean, Allah says that one should not pray for disbelievers, even if you pray for forgiveness 70 times, Allah would not accept  it. If I  pray, however, this is not a mistake or disobedience?
3. Can we or should we go in cemeteries, visiting the graves of the deceased, as a reminder, also specifically Christian? (Forbidden in Sunni Islam)
4. And I also think the legacy of a "non muslims" is allowed, right? Here, too, can be found in Sunni Islam strictly prohibits accepting such a legacy, it may not even be used as Sadaqa. I find this totally stupid  (sorry) i.e. so: rather let the hungry die , instead  to accept  some money  from Christians or nonbelievers !

Sorre for the long post, but it makes one think ...

[Joseph Islam]

Salamun Alaikum Chadiga,

May your father in law rest in peace and may Allah have mercy on his soul InshAllah.

My humble perspective on Islamic burials:

PREPARING THE DEAD BODY FOR BURIAL AND THE QURAN'S PERSPECTIVE
http://quransmessage.com/articles/preparing%20the%20dead%20body%20for%20burial%20and%20the%20quran's%20perspective%20FM3.htm

Regards,
Joseph.

[chadiga]

Dear Joseph
you say in your article:
There is no right or wrong way to bury the dead nor is this stipulated by scripture as part of 'Deen'. The main focus is that of dignity and respect as we saw in the case of Adam's (pbuh) son.


If I understand correctly, this would, however, exclude a burn? Burning is still disrespectful? Or just in my understanding?
Anyway, what about the cemeteries? Visiting a cemetery in this case is actually completely irrelevant, because the soul is leaving the body at death and goes somewhere?
The dead man hears not us even more.

[Joseph Islam]

Salamun Alaikum Chadiga,

The Quran dealt with a people who buried their dead. The Quran does not stipulate a burial method. What may be disrespectful to one community may be a sign of respect for another. The manner of burial is not a religious matter as there is no prescription to dispose of the dead in any particular manner. Today's Muslim burial method is founded on sunnah, a practice of a people. From a Quranic perspective, the focus of dignity and respect was humbly argued for in the case of Adam's son in the article.

Once a soul passes, it is least interested in what happens to its flesh or bones. It enters a state of 'barzakh' which is a state of sleep where all concept of time is lost. The next seeming moment transports the soul to the Day of Raising. That is the concern of the soul and what it's account holds. What people did with the earthly body and how it was disposed will have arguably little effect on the deeds of the departed soul when held to account.

In response to your second question, yes, I agree that 'the dead man hears not us even more'. Yet God that created the dead person heard the prayer of the supplicant before the Universe was created. God does not exist nor is subject to our linear concept of time. He exists outside His creation, where time does not apply. One's dua (prayer) after the death of a person at their grave was heard even before the person who died was created. Something which I feel humbly, is worth thinking about.

I hope that helps, God willing.

Regards,
Joseph.

[chadiga]

dear Joseph

God does not exist nor is subject to our linear concept of time. He exists outside His creation, where time does not apply. One's dua (prayer) after the death of a person at their grave was heard even before the person who died was created. Something which I feel humbly, is worth thinking about.

 this! you make me always  to remember what wisdom really means. thank you.