Salamu aleikum
because my father in law has just died recently, I was faced with quite a few customs and rituals that have nothing to with the Quran in my view,. For example:
-3 Days mourning, common 'sit' of relatives, neighbors and friends in the house of the deceased,
- Engage a Sheikh to recites Quran for the deceased ('sit' in a specially rented tent, visitors also there)
-The Prohibition, for three days to turn on the TV, except the Koran
(Some say 40 days, according to other Ahadith)
-the Wash of the deceased and the white cloth
-Burying in the direction of Mecca
-Acquaintance in the streets, so that as much as possible come to pray for the dead , so the 40 people reached (after hadith: a person is awarded if 40 people accompanied the funeral procession)
-Women are not allowed at the funeral and makruh in the mosque
-Prayer for the Dead
All these things are not in the Koran but only removed from the secondary sources. Really is almost nothing about the death, or what is done afterwards. is now someone who follows these traditions, guilty of Shirk ?
the three-day-sit is about no expression of real grief, it's just social norm / almost hypocrisy of some.
certain issues I care most:1. is it allowed according to Islam, to cremate a person? or is the verse where Allah says, "Bani Adam comes from the earth and you go to her back" an order to buried the body in the earth? If you ask a Sunni it is clear that he will say, the body should be in the grave, as the two angels comes and ask you the famous questions ..
2.is it permissible to pray for not believers (if you are not sure whether they believed or not) for forgiveness? I mean, Allah says that one should not pray for disbelievers, even if you pray for forgiveness 70 times, Allah would not accept it. If I pray, however, this is not a mistake or disobedience?
3. Can we or should we go in cemeteries, visiting the graves of the deceased, as a reminder, also specifically Christian? (Forbidden in Sunni Islam)
4. And I also think the legacy of a "non muslims" is allowed, right? Here, too, can be found in Sunni Islam strictly prohibits accepting such a legacy, it may not even be used as Sadaqa. I find this totally stupid (sorry) i.e. so: rather let the hungry die , instead to accept some money from Christians or nonbelievers !
Sorre for the long post, but it makes one think ...