Dear brother/sister Anjum,
I'm glad to hear this optimistic tone in your reply
If you've seen those articles then I'm sure you understood that war is only permitted in selfdefence and against oppressors or aggressors, and even then, careful: do not transgress, and stop if they stop! Ask yourself how many of these conditions does ISIS fulfill? From what you see, could it be a war sanctioned by God in the Quran?
Now, regarding the savings of your mother, I don't know where do they come from: her work or a share of inheritance? Whatever the case, the Quran acknowledges the right of the women to earn and inherit, and nowhere does it mention that she needs the approval of her husband (or of anyone else) about the way she spends it (mahr included). Let me quote you brother Joseph:
"The Quran recognises the equal right to earn for both men and women. Let us note a relevant verse below.
"And do not covet (Arabic: tatammannaw) what God has bestowed some of you over others. For men (is) a share (Arabic: nasibun) from that which they have earned (Arabic: iktasabu), and for women (is) a share (Arabic: nasibun) from that which they have earned (Arabic: iktasab(na)) and ask God of His bounty (Arabic: fadlihi). Indeed! God is ever Knower of all things."(4:32).
Please note: As the verb 'tammanna' (desire / covet) has been used in Arabic, the gifts that are being referred to, are tangible worldly assets or wealth. This interpretation is also supported by the use of 'fadlihi' (bounty) in the same verse.
Therefore, it is clear from the above verse, that no differentiation is made between men and women with their respective rights to accumulate a share of 'wealth'. Neither is any differentiation made in the verse, as to how this 'share' (Arabic: nasibun) has been accumulated or acquired (Arabic: iktasabu). There is no inference that the 'wealth' of women differs from men and restrictively applies to that which they have received as inheritance, maintenance or as in gifts."
As for ablution, let us keep in mind that God doesn't want you to be overburdened. He himself says that He has not imposed any difficulties in religion and He expects us to keep our duties to Him as best as we can. Anyways, the tayamum is prescribed only when there is no clean water available, and your mention of public washroom tells me there is water available. I can tell you for myself: due to winter coldness I do ablution inside my workplace. I use a small spray bottle with pure water, inside the office, but i put a paper handkerchief under the bodypart - the minute waterdrops fall, I wipe the part with my palm, put the papertowel under the next part and proceed with the same. It makes the ablution during winter a lot easier.
Even if that fails, try doing ablution before you leave for work.
I hope I was of help,
Your sister Seraphina