May peace be with you.
Firstly, please do try to log on to the QM Forum again and please let me know your email address and username that you have chosen and I will personally see that I approve your request to join, God willing.
With regards your questions, actually, as I was reading your email, I felt for a moment that the very sentiments that removed your anxiety was actually being extracted from the Quran and not as consequence of Atheism. Rest assured, that the Quran wholly and unequivocally supports the very sentiments that has caused you to overcome your anxiety in the past.
Please allow me to humbly walk you through some of the narratives in the Quran which I trust will assist you, God willing.
Whatever traits and tangible physiological state one has been granted in this world will completely cease to exist in the Hereafter. This includes general biology and it can even be argued that your gender will have no meaning or serve any purpose in the Hereafter.
The Quran remains explicit that everyone will be created anew. As to what that creation will look like, we have not been informed, other than it will be fresh and untouched.
056.035
‘Lo” We have created them a (New Creation)”
(Inna (Indeed we/ Lo) Inshanahunna (We have produced them) Inshaa (Into a creation))
There is no support from the verse for the often mistranslations that this is referring to the virgin wives of the believing men. The verse is clear that it is dealing with the companions of the right hand and it is them that are being recreated as a new creation.
056.036
“And we have made them untouched / fresh (Arabic: Abkaran - Root BKR)”
BKR - A virgin - anything untouched, new, fresh.
Furthermore, one's relationships, the judgements others have had of others and any meaningful earthly relationship will come to an abrupt end on the Day of Judgement (23:101). This is indeed, a very crude awakening.
A nursing mother will forget what she was nursing; a pregnant mother will want to drop her own child in her womb and will want nothing to do with it.
022.002 (part)
"On the Day you will see it every nursing mother will forget that [child] she was nursing, and every pregnant woman will abort her pregnancy..."
The intensity of the severance of this world and the reality of the hereafter with certainty of sight (102.7) will turn children grey.
073.017
"Then how will you guard yourselves if you disbelieve, on the Day that will make children grey-headed!?"
There will be such a powerful, deep disconnect with other souls that even one's own parents will want to ransom their own children, wife, brother, nearest kindred that sheltered them and everything on the earth (5:36; 10:54; 13:18; 39:47) for their own salvation. No one will have an iota of concern for any other except themselves. All earthly connections, feelings and emotions with others will be abruptly severed having no arguable 'earthly' purpose in the Hereafter.
070:11-16
They will be made to see each other. The criminal will wish that he could be ransomed from the punishment of that Day by his children, and his wife and his brother, and his nearest kindred who shelter him, and all that is on the earth - so it could save him. No! (BY NO MEANS!), Indeed, it is the Flame (of Hell), plucking out / removing his skin tight to the skull!”
039.047
"And if those who did wrong had whatever is in the earth, and the like of it with it, they verily will seek to ransom themselves with it from the evil of the punishment on the Day of Resurrection..."
Arguably, such a powerful, graphic disconnect is inevitable. Indeed it will happen. Where children will be separated from their parents, where loved ones and close relations will be split apart and will be requited for their wrong. One could argue that such a disconnect is inevitable, otherwise heaven would not be a place of felicity but become a place of mourning as some would see their earthly loved ones rot in hell. But earthly sentiments for others will be no more, ties will be broken and they will be wholly content that God has judged each soul aright, even those in hellfire.
040:048
"Those who were proud say: Indeed, we are all in it: God has indeed judged between the servants"
Any rancour or earthly contentions will be far removed from souls that enter heaven.
007.043
"And We will remove whatever rancour / malice may be in their hearts. Rivers flow beneath them. And they will say: All praise is for God, the One who has guided us to this. We could not truly have been led aright if God had not guided us. Certainly the messengers of our Lord did bring the Truth. And they will be addressed, "This is the Garden. You have been made to inherit it for what you used to do."
Rest assured, this disconnect will happen. This is something we are warned about unequivocally in the Quran.
039:023
"God has revealed the best HADITH (Arabic: Hadithi) in the form of a Book, consistent with itself, (yet) repeating (its teaching in various aspects): the skins of those who fear their Lord tremble at it; then their skins and their hearts do soften to the celebration of God's praises. Such is the guidance of God: He guides with it whom He pleases, but such as God leaves to stray, can have none to guide"
I hope that helps, God willing
Joseph