Asalamu 3alykum
Dear Sleepysoul
There seems to be already people questioning what is the instructions concerning women? God says He already has given you instructions about them (possibly referring to verse 4:2) and about the orphans girls that the men are desiring to marry who the men are NOT giving them their property(wealth). There actually seems to be a hint to NOT marry the orphan women because they are not giving them their prescribed wealth and property. So verse 4:3 instructs that if they fear that they are not going to act fairly with the orphan women, marry women of your choice two, three, four. So that would mean other women than the orphan women.
There seems to be even a situation where women gave themselves to the prophet while he was already married (60:10).
I'm sure we all feel for these women who you speak of. It seems like now your on another topic, and I do not know what to tell you. We understand and we already established that the Quran condemns forced marriages and cruelty.
When I think of polygny I think about how a man breaks it to his first wife or if he even does. I do understand how sad it seems and unfair it seems especially in a time like today. What will likely happen is marriage will go on or will have a divorce or everyone will see what is best for them. I cannot say what is right or wrong.
I am not encouraging polygny and I am not sexist or biased in anyway Insha'Allah. I have a wife, sister, daughters and think about them as well Alhamdulila. It hurts me also to see how some of the muslim world has miss treated women. I am also a believer in the Quran Alhamdulila and I do find support for polygny. I cannot say that its wrong. However the polygny that I find is supported by the Quran is one by free will and justice and is for believing men and believing women and must be beneficial for both man and women.
Also if anyone can prove that polygny is only allowable in certain dire circumstances and is not permitted anymore or that I have its understood it, I am willing to accept it. Its a big important topic but its not the only thing in life.
4:19 O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.
Walaikumasalaam.
One is not supposed to devour the wealth and property of orphans whether one marries them or marries other women. A man can also devour the orphan's property and rights if he marries other women, right?
To me it kind of makes more sense that it might mean to marry the women from the orphans. So the "women", not the children.
But honestly, this whole polygamy issue for marrying multiple other than helping them is what bothers me. If such is the case and only Allah knows the reasoning, then may Allah make it easier for me to understand it.
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was not like other regular men. His status and stature is not comparable to other men. Even him and his wives had some rules that do not apply to other Muslims.
Of course Islam does not allow cruelty. However many Muslim men are corrupt. They have made Islam to look as if it's a man's religion and men will be the ones that will be "rewarded" and that Islam cares more about what men want as opposed to women. They have introduced disturbing things such as 72 hooris + 2 worldly wives for each man in Paradise, or how about 72 worldly women "inherited" by each man in Paradise from the ones whose husbands will go to hell, as if women are just bundles to be passed around, being given "fair skinned hooris" (racist) with bla bla body type or being able to marry up to 4 women because "men need this", being allowed to keep sex slaves and "the wife is not allowed to say anything", being allowed to marry little girls, being allowed to beat women, not letting women talk and stifling discussion because "their voice will turn us men on" and "women should stay inside and cook" etc etc.
Don't you see how it can be difficult to get past this? Of course not many Muslim men seem to understand this. And often they try to justify it and explain the "reasoning" behind it.
With the bold part, I suppose I agree. I just don't see it much, the righteous, fair and respectful treatment towards women in this world, especially and sadly, in Muslim countries. And another thing that is shameful? A lot of Muslim men don't even seem to care about it, let alone trying to fix this. They often seem more concerned with women's clothing, women as fitna, where women go and what they do, their "sexual desires", haraam relationships, other sects, the "west" than issues such as domestic abuse, honor killings, sexual harrassment, forced marriages etc.