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Offline Forum Questions

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Marrying my Daughters at 8 Years
« on: November 12, 2011, 12:17:52 PM »
[Please contact Joseph Islam for further details of the original thread]

Dear viewars,

I have two child, I and my wife are marrying our daughter at the age of 8 with a pious man no matter what is his age (51) - given that they both can continue with good life - who can stop me? At least Islam not stop me.

About many young men (20), when I see their face, I suspect even no one will like to marry his daughter with you in any age, what to say under 10.

Problem is that, sex has grabbed people. Whenever marriage is discussed only thing that comes in your mind is sex. Marriage is contract to live rest of life together, of course sex is 'part' of it, not 'all' of it.

If you believe sex is the only reason for marriage, or when parents are going to marry their daughter sex is the reason in their mind, then surely I am talking to a wrong person. I don't know trend at your side in Amrica while marrying a daughter.

[Name removed]


Dear readers

I agree with [Name removed]

It is a strange that you will be asking me a thing which I never ever supported.

I have wrote it many times, see again; 'If a girl (like 9 year old) is married happy, is this marriage allowed? Answer=yes. Should it be done? Answer = Yes if happy.

There are always circumstances and constrainsts.

Why you not stop your friends from early marriage?

Keep in mind, I am not supporting this type of marriage but if hadees narration is saying that it was done so, I will always support this - whenever a person will quote this I will defend this.

Dont stop your frends - I have no problem.

See a simple formula. When should a marriage be performed? Answer is simple, when it is most probably assumed to be a successful life contract.

If it is assumed and done then who can dare to call this marriage a wrong act?


Offline Joseph Islam

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Re: Marrying my Daughters at 8 Years
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2011, 12:18:20 PM »
[Please contact Joseph Islam for further details of the original thread]

I am truly aghast at the previous two posts. (If I have understood the sentiments of particularly the first one correctly).

The question has nothing to do with what 'you' as part of whatever society you belong to, or the 'man' seeking to marry a child or indeed, the family of the child think of future prospects of the marriage instituion.

The question is - does the child really have the capacity to make informed decisions about her life at the tender age of 6,7, 8 or 9?

Does the child have the capacity or the experience to really know what is good for her and what the marriage institution entails for the rest of her days at that tender child age? Can she really enter into a 'Meethaqan Galezan' (solemn covenant) completely at her own volition or is this a form of disguised exploitation and given religious legitimacy which really has no true warrant from scripture?

Would you really entrust an 8 year old with the finances of your company or all your financial matters? Would really give a child complete control over her finances or property regardless of value? Would you class her to be of sufficient sound judgment and maturity to be able to do that? Really? You may think that is an irrelevant benchmark, but that is the benchmark provided by the scripture against whose name you swear to be Muslims.

004:006 (Part)
'Test (trial) the orphans (Arabic: wa-ibtalu l-yatama) until they reach the age of marriage (Arabic: balaghu l-nikaha); if you then find sound judgment in them, release their property to them..."

Physical maturity and mental maturity are both as important in discerning marriageable age.

Can you really enter into a solemen covenant (4:21) with a child given the gravity and significance of such a contract that God describes as a Meethaqan Galezan in the Quran? Have you noted the gravity of such a covenant and the level of volition and understanding required for such a covenant from the Quran for yourself?

Note how God describes a Meethaqan Galezan in the Quran. There are only 2 other instances where such a term is used.

To describe:

(1) The solemn covenant (Meethaqan Galezan) God took with the Bani Israel with regards the matter of the Sabbath.
(2) The solemen covenant (Meethaqan Galezan) God took with all His Prophets (33:7)

Do you really think (hand on heart) that a child of 8 can display enough volition, understanding and wisdom to enable her to enter into a 'Meethaqn Galezan' with regards marriage for the rest of her life? Really?

Dear brothers (previous posters), rather than sink our heads in the sand, we all have a responsibility to truly study the scripture of God that born Muslims have inherited and not simply follow the understandings and practices of our forefathers.

One can find enough support in the 'Sahih Sitta' Ahadith corpus to drum up support to deal with ones own carnal desires (the sexual tyrannasaurus predator that one may be!). But rather than fanning these overt carnal desires, one should be suppressing them. Rather than 'shopping' for narratives to support these overt desires, one should be reading the scripture of God with a view to seeking wisdom to contain them.

The second post referred to Bukhari. Maybe you should first try to capture the Quran's own wisdom. The majority of these narratives which support Hazrat Ayesha's age in Bukhari are narrated on the authority of one person, Hisham bin Urwa. For the sake of brevity, I would rather not comprehensively tackle the secondary sources that you mention here in this post. Suffice to say, legitimising the marriage of a child of such an age is negated by the Quran's own wisdom, which remains the primary source, our source of judge and criterion between right and wrong (furqan).

I am sure you are not going to argue that the Prophet of God practiced something against the wisdom he himself received from God and then preached?

Also, sexual intimacy is intertwined in a marital relationship. Let us not be so naive here. What do you really think goes through a 55 or 60 year old man who seeks a 6, 7, 8 or 9 year old child for marriage?
'During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act' 
George Orwell