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Offline Reader Questions

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Difficult Parents / Correcting Parents
« on: May 13, 2014, 12:10:39 PM »
Salaamun Alaikum Brother,

[The bulk of the email has been redacted due to its very sensitive and private nature]

Offline Joseph Islam

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Re: Difficult Parents / Correcting Parents
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2014, 12:12:27 PM »
Dear [Name Removed]

As-salam alaykum

Our relationships are a trial. As the Quran says, you are not expected to obey your parents if they go against what is expected from a believer. However, God makes it clear that you must still try to deal with them in the best possible manner in worldly affairs (31:15). Furthermore, a believer is not expected to guide those who are nearest and dearest (28:56). You can only do your best to part what you feel is correct and not be burdened by their responses. Even the prophet was admonished and called a 'Jahil' because he took the apathy of his people towards guidance to heart. (6:35)

However, if one's parents transgress to a point where they begin to harm one, then of course one must protect their own life first and move away from the source of the harm. This finds some support in Prophet Abraham's actions, who moved away from his people after not only dismissing him, but also when they attempted to kill him (21:69-70). His sentiments are also captured depicting animosity and hatred towards his people (60:4), but even so, prophet Abrahams heart still pleaded forgiveness for his father which is further explained by the Quran as a promise he had made. However, when it became clear to him that his father was an enemy of God, he disassociated himself from him too (9:114).

In the end and as I am sure you will appreciate, this world is but a trial. Some people have difficult parents but great health. Others have very poor health, are completely disabled etc. but have great parents that look after them. In the end, we should not shy away from our trials as things could be a lot worse.

I hope that helps, God willing.

Regards,
Joseph


REFERENCE:

[1] PARENTS
http://quransmessage.com/articles/parents%20FM3.htm
'During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act' 
George Orwell