Wordly couples in Jannah?

[AQL]

Salamun'Alaykum. 


There are many sunni women who ask questions and worry about why it says in Islam (namely their hadith) that women will be forced to stay with their spouse in Paradise while it's different for their husbands. It's easy to denounce the Hadith but when it comes to verses..

13:23 - Gardens of perpetual residence; they will enter them with whoever were righteous among their fathers, their spouses and their descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying],

43:70 - Enter Paradise, you and your wives, in happiness.

Sunnis use these verses to support their Hadith which claim that women will be stuck with their worldly husbands in Paradise, devoid of choice. And they quote the following verse to 'prove' that if a wife does not wish to be with her worldly husband, her negative feelings will be removed in Heaven so she wouldn't mind being with him there even though she didn't want to. Isn't that false happiness?

7:43 - And We remove whatever rancour may be in their hearts. Rivers flow beneath them. And they say: The praise to Allah, Who hath guided us to this. We could not truly have been led aright if Allah had not guided us. Verily the messengers of our Lord did bring the Truth. And it is cried unto them: This is the Garden. Ye inherit it for what ye used to do.

Does that mean that couples that were together in this world, will be stuck in together in Jannah too? What if one of them does not want to be with their earthly spouse? Perhaps because he/she doesn't love the other, or they are in the marriage due to cultural reasons? There are many women and even men who are forced into marriages, who live in loveless marriages or just have feelings for someone else.
Of course the Hadith always seem to be favoring men in this case and their "desires". But after reading the Quran's verses, it's a bit confusing. Will there be a choice? People say that there are limits to when God says that we can "have whatever we desire/want" (16:31, 25:16, 41:31, 43:71). This is without including the obvious murdering, stealing etc.

I'm not sure how to respond to women when they come up with these questions and this whole "huri" and "spouse" topic seems to come up more often than what people would think.

The Hadith:
The Prophet, said: “The woman will be for her last husband in Paradise.” [Al-Albaani]

As you probably already know, there are other Hadith too which indicate that women will be with their worldly husbands in Paradise whether they want to or not. I just want to understand the Qur'an's verses that sunnis use to support this.

I've also seen one man use this verse to justify the "rewards for men".

3:14 - "Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allah has the excellent return (Paradise with flowing rivers, etc.) with Him."
 
Thanks for taking time to answer. Apologies if this topic has already been covered. I saw the article for the "hoori" one but couldn't find one about what I'm wanting to know now. And I also apologize if this seems like a trivial matter but it bothers me too. 

[Joseph Islam]

Dear Sleepyghoul,

Wa alaikum assalam and welcome to the forum!

As I am sure you will appreciate, using isolated Quranic verses to support errant beliefs is a weakness that is not uncommon in traditional thought. Sadly, many a wayward doctrine is given extra support by such an approach.

Rather, the Quran must remain the primary source that establishes doctrines and beliefs and the lens through which other thoughts are studied. The Quran must remain the criterion (furqan). Everything else is secondary. It is also important to remember that any 'implicit' verses of the Quran should be understood in light of 'explicit' verses and not vice versa.

In the verses you have shared:

Verse 13:23 merely infers those who potentially may enter Paradise by citing their relationships on Earth so that it may be clear who the Quran is referring to. Apart from spouses, forefathers and off-spring are also mentioned. This does not mean however, that these relationships will become the bedrock of relationships in paradise. All it implies is that those righteous from earthly kindred will also enter paradise if it is God's will. At no point does the Quran explicitly state that these relations will remain in Paradise exactly as they were on Earth or that they will be forced to abide together removing the element of choice from the dwellers of paradise. *

However, the Quran is explicit that earthly relationships will be severed on the Day of Judgment (23:101). A nursing mother will forget what she was nursing; a pregnant mother will want to drop her own child in her womb and will want nothing to do with it (22:2). There will be such a powerful, deep disconnect with other souls that even one's own parents will want to ransom their own children, wife, brother, nearest kindred that sheltered them and everything on the earth (5:36; 10:54; 13:18; 39:47) for their own salvation.  No one will have an iota of concern for any other except themselves. All earthly connections, feelings and emotions with others will be abruptly severed having no 'earthly' purpose in the Hereafter.

‘*Yes, it is quite possible that in paradise, the righteous kindred will meet each other and as the Quran states, will join / associate / affiliate (alhaqa) with each other (52:21). This is no different from the joining / affiliation that the righteous will do (26:83). They may even speak / reminisce about their trials on earth together (52:26). 

However, to assert or imply that people will be forced to remain together such as spouses, simply because of their earthly kinship is unwarranted in my humble view of a Quranic perspective. This should become clear if these verses are studied without any lean on secondary sources or any preconceived notion regarding the matter.

With regards verse 43:70, once again, this is a reference to those earthly kindred that will also enter paradise if God wills. As with the previous verse discussed above, this does not mean that earthly marital bonds will remain (or by coercion) in paradise as they were on earth. Yes, they may associate with each other, but any further implication cannot be gleaned from any supportive explicit text.

Furthermore, as you have rightly noted, explicit text of the Quran also seems to strongly suggest that the righteous will have what they desire (16:31, 25:16, 41:31, 43:71) in proportion to the good that they have earned (16:96-97). Of course, such earthly transgressions such as murdering, stealing etc will arguably not be applicable in paradise.

Notwithstanding the fact that there will be no rancour between the righteous in the widest sense possible (7:43), one will still be able choose how they wish to conduct their affairs if the above explicit verses are considered. There is no coercion implied in any of these verses.


You also share:

Sunnis use these verses to support their Hadith which claim that women will be stuck with their worldly husbands in Paradise, devoid of choice. And they quote the following verse to 'prove' that if a wife does not wish to be with her worldly husband, her negative feelings will be removed in Heaven so she wouldn't mind being with him there even though she didn't want to. Isn't that false happiness?

7:43 - And We remove whatever rancour may be in their hearts. Rivers flow beneath them. And they say: The praise to Allah, Who hath guided us to this. We could not truly have been led aright if Allah had not guided us. Verily the messengers of our Lord did bring the Truth. And it is cried unto them: This is the Garden. Ye inherit it for what ye used to do.


In my humble opinion, connecting the above verse (7:43) with an interpolation which is already dubious and arguably unwarranted, is only going to accentuate the problem. Verse 7:43 does not mention anything about spouses. As I have already intimated, this is a general verse which makes clear that any rancour between paradise dwellers (whatever they may be in the widest sense possible) will be removed in paradise. To link this specifically to spouses to support a particular belief as you suggest is unwarranted and is merely a case of 'confirmation bias'.

I have covered 'male-centric' readings and associated misconceptions in the following articles [1] and [2] below.

I hope this helps, God willing
Joseph


REFERENCES:

[1] SEXY FEMALE VIRGINS FOR MEN IN PARADISE - REALLY?
http://quransmessage.com/articles/sexy%20female%20virgins%20for%20men%20in%20heaven%20FM3.htm
[2] SEX WITH SLAVE GIRLS
http://quransmessage.com/articles/sex%20with%20slave%20girls%20FM3.htm

[AQL]

Thanks for the welcome!

I considered myself Sunni only a short while ago so a lot of their ideas are stuck in my head.

I feel like we can't make assumptions when Allah Swt says "whatever we desire". Sunnis also say that everything that is forbidden in this world will be forbidden in the next life. Yet, even in their Hadith, things like silk are forbidden on men yet in the Qur'an it states we will be dressed in silk. It's contradictory.
They use this to explain why a woman will have only one husband in Jannah while they can have many because Allah has allowed them to in this life. Which I still don't fully understand why. Aren't we supposed to learn through God the notion of love? Isn't that what marriage should be about? Oftentimes it seems like Muslim men don't even want to fall in love with their wives just because they can have many. Yet these men also argue that it's a woman's "nature" to want her husband all to herself. On top of this, they still argue that a woman can't even have a man created of her choice in Paradise!
This life is a test, I can only assume polygamy is a test for women. And it's not right to apply the rules of this world to the next.

Back on topic, I think it's safe to say that everything and anything will be possible (after all, it's Paradise) because we only have God's words to trust.

Thanks for your response.

[Joseph Islam]

You are most welcome 

[Sleepysoul]

Some sunnis act like the laws of this world will apply in paradise too. There are a lot of hadith which talk about the future, paradise, the fate of others etc. Is it safe to assume that, considering we'll be created a new creation, everything else will be new too and we will be released from the invisible bonds that tie us to people?
Many sunnis believe that a woman will be with her worldly husband while the man will have his wife (2 worldly wives each apparently) and several other sex buddies... so basically, the wife will have no choice or say whether she wants a different spouse all to herself. How can anyone believe this considering paradise will be a new world where everyone will have what they want. Why would forced polygamy apply in the next world? That would be unfair and an injustice. Who would call such a place paradise? Allah is Just and no one will be wronged.

Also that verse 3:14 could be applied in reverse to women too, in my opinion.